40 pc of couples feel ‘intensely in love’ even after 10 years of marriage

London: Even after ten years of marriage, the level of love can be as intense as it was at the start of the relationship, a new study has found.

The study, by New York’s Stony Brook University and Harvey Mudd College in Claremont, California, polled 274 married individuals, the Daily Mail reported.

Forty percent of subjects who had been married for over ten years told researchers that they were still “very intensely in love”.

Another 13.4 percent said they were “intensely in love”, and 26.2 percent agreed with the statement that they were “very in love”.

The feeling was defined by a combination of behaviours such as thinking positively about the partner, being affectionate with one another, sexual intercourse and general life happiness.

According to the study authors, their results counter the commonly-held belief that feelings of love decline over time.

This is even true for couples married well over a decade, it seems. While the findings showed a drop in very intense feelings of love for those married over 20 years, it rose back up to 40 percent for couples married over 30 years.

There were some differences between the sexes when it came to behaviour that represented intense feelings of love, however.

For men, thinking about their partner at all times was a key marker of a deep love, but the same was not true of women.

The authors also revealed that female participants, in contrast, linked those strong feelings to passion for “non-relationship factors”.

I am available for marriage, says Shahid Kapoor

Mumbai: It`s the wedding season in Bollywood and actor Shahid Kapoor, who has made himself “available” for marriage, feels that the institution brings in lot of confidence and a sense of stability.
In Bollywood, married actors like Shahrukh Khan, Aamir Khan, Akshay Kumar, Ajay Devgn, Hrithik Roshan and others have done well at the box office, giving tough competition to singletons like Shahid, Ranbir Kapoor, Ranveer Singh.

On married actors being successful in Bollywood, Shahid says, “I agree that most of our superstars in the industry are married…are successful. But again it (being successful) is not so much related to whether you are married or not. It takes certain amount of time to establish yourself as an actor. Usually to reach there you need the support of somebody who loves you, takes care of you.

“And so you end up getting married and settling down. It (marriage) gives you a lot of confidence and certain sense of stability. So I think it is beautiful if your partner is with you on your journey in life… if you have somebody to share your success it is great,” he said.

Shahid also said he is available for tying the knot.

“I am available and koi bhi achi ladki chahe toh…(If any of the good girls want)… I am available. I don`t have any reservations for marriage,” he said.

The 30-year-old was dating Kareena Kapoor when they started filming for Ken Ghosh`s 2004 film `Fida`. They were going steady until they separated during the making of `Jab We Met` in 2007. Since then, he has been linked with Vidya Balan, Priyanka Chopra, Deepika Padukone, Anushka Sharma and Bipasha Basu. But he has never admitted to dating any of these beauties.

Women who get hitched early, divorce early

For women who get hitched in their 20s, divorcing in the first couple of years has become a common pattern now, and most of them go through this horrifying phase even before hitting 30.

While the factors behind every relationship’s downfall are different, the underlying impetus behind marriage is similar for some of the women.For women, who maintain a comfortable long-term relationship in their 20s, the next logical step is to get hitched, mainly because they find it convenient. Madison, a 29 year-old accountant from New Jersey admitted to marrying even though she didn’t feel ‘crazy love’, because was ‘content and secure instead’, Huffington Post quoted her as telling.

Many times it is a previous relationship, which leaves a woman heartbroken and propels them to marry ‘Mr Wrong’. They say you never really get over your first love.

“I didn’t think I would ever fall in love again so I figured it didn’t matter who I married”, said Tara, a 26 year-old freelance writer from North Carolina.

There are many women who take the decision of getting married simply because they hope that marriage would change things. For instance, Casey, a 35 year-old travel correspondent thought that once she settled into newlywed bliss, her ex-husband would be happier with his own life, will be able to hold a steady job and show her more affection. However, in due course Casey, who married at 24, found her ex husband ‘immature and insecure’.

Then there are instances when women hasten to tie the nuptial knot apparently because of low self-esteem. “I was a very insecure individual at that time. I was losing weight from gastric bypass surgery and wasn’t happy with my appearance. He told me I couldn’t do any better and I believed him”, said Kim, a 30 year-old social worker.

Money just can’t buy you love when it comes to marriage: study

Confirming The Beatles’ lyrical hypothesis, a new study has found that ‘the kind of thing that money just can’t buy’ is a happy and stable marriage.

Scholars at Brigham Young University studied 1,734 married couples across the country.

Each couple completed a relationship evaluation, part of which asked how much they value “having money and lots of things.”

The researchers’ statistical analysis revealed that couples who said money was not important to them scored about 10 to 15 per cent better on marriage stability and other measures of relationship quality than couples where one or both were materialistic.

“Couples where both spouses are materialistic were worse off on nearly every measure we looked at,” said Jason Carroll, a BYU professor of family life and lead author of the study.

“There is a pervasive pattern in the data of eroding communication, poor conflict resolution and low responsiveness to each other,” he stated.

For one in five couples in the study, both partners admitted a strong love of money. Though these couples were better off financially, money was often a bigger source of conflict for them.

And despite their shared materialism, materialistic couples’ relationships were in poorer shape than couples who were mismatched and had just one materialist in the marriage.

Marriage is an evolving bond: Kutcher

Actor Ashton Kutcher who is married to actress Demi Moore views his marriage as an “active and evolving bond”.

The “Two and a Half Men” tied the knot with Moore in 2005.

“Our relationship has just grown deeper and more interesting. We love each other and we love the journey we`re taking together and that`s not a cliche,” contactmusic.com quoted the 33-year-old as saying.

“We are both actively engaged in each other`s lives and we both find that it`s so beautiful to be able to appreciate each other in new and different ways. We both see marriage as an active and evolving bond between us,” he added.

Five ways never to propose

Proposing isn’t easy. Those of you who think that simply by going down on your knees, and getting a giant ring of sorts would get a “yes” couldn’t be any wronger.

A media report has issued a list of five ultimately rejected proposal ideas for those who are ‘seriously’ looking forward to marital bliss with their special girl.

For starters, placing the ring in say your girlfriend’s drink or her favourite doughnut will only break her tooth or pass through her gastrointestinal system.

Further, those planning to propose their girlfriends on the big screen at a game should hop to another plan, or they will end up ruining a very intimate moment by surrounding themselves with drunks.

Asking for her hand in marriage while playing in the ocean where the ring can’t be found if dropped is also a really bad idea.

Faking a bar fight to impress your girlfriend and then proposing her when she comes to your aid is again a strict no as “initiating a sincere moment with an insincere set up seems counter-intuitive”.The final idea to be written off the list is to take her by surprise by dropping to a knee at a classy gentlemen’s club — it is much less impressive when the diamond is half the size of a stripper’s belly button ring.

Will Smith, Jada still together

Hollywood couple Will Smith and Jada Pinkett have denied reports of their separation, terming it a “false” report.

The actor and his wife of 13 years released a joint statement through their representative, reports a website.

“Although we are reluctant to respond to these types of press reports, the rumours circulating about our relationship are completely false. We are still together, and our marriage is intact,” the couple said in the statement.

The couple have two children – Jaden, 13, and Willow, 10.

40% married women face physical, sexual violence: Government

Over 35 percent of all women and 40 percent of married women experienced physical or sexual forms of violence and the figures were higher in rural areas, the Lok Sabha was informed today.

“The National Family Health Survey III (2005-06) data shows that in the 15-49 age group, 35.4 per cent of all women and 40 per cent of married women experienced physical or sexual violence,” Women and Child Development Minister Krishna Tirath said during Question Hour.

She said 6.7 percent experienced both physical and sexual forms of domestic violence.

Tirath said the data suggests that both physical and sexual forms of domestic violence against women are higher in rural areas as compared to the urban areas.

Domestic violence defined under Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act, 2005 covers physical, sexual, verbal, emotional and economic abuse.

As per the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) data, a total of 5,788 were registered under the Act in 2007, 5,643 cases in 2008 and 7,802 in 2009, Tirath said.

She claimed that Protection Officers (POs) had been appointed in every state except Jammu and Kashmir (where the Act is not applicable) and her ministry held regular meetings with state governments to ensure that this system was functioning efficiently.

The Domestic Violence Act, 2005 is implemented by states and Union territories.

“Under the Act, state governments are required to appoint Protection Officers in each district as they may consider necessary,” she said.

Maharashtra has the highest number of 3,910 Protection Officers followed by Rajasthan (574), Madhya Pradesh (368) and Himachal Pradesh (366).

Bickering couples likely to keep bickering for the rest of their marriages

Do you fight and argue all day with your spouse? If yes, then your current level of conflict probably won’t change much for the remainder of your marriage, according to a study.

The researchers made the conclusion after following nearly 1,000 couples over 20 years, from 1980 to 2000.

“There wasn’t much change in conflict over time,” said Claire Kamp Dush, lead author of the study and assistant professor of human development and family science at Ohio State University.

“There was a very slight decrease in the amount of conflict reported in the final years of the study, which was slightly larger for the high-conflict couples. Still, the differences over time were small,” added Dush, who conducted the study with Miles Taylor of Florida State University.

The researchers found that people in low-conflict marriages were more likely than others to say they shared decision-making with their spouses.

“That’s interesting because you might think that making decisions jointly would create more opportunities for conflict, but that’s not what we found,” Dush said.

“These couples believed in traditional gender roles and may have avoided conflict because of their beliefs in life-long marriage. These couples were also unlikely to divorce.”

“It may be that if both spouses have a say in decision making, they are more satisfied with their relationship and are less likely to fight,” added Dush.

People in the low conflict group were also more likely than those who reported high levels of conflict to say that they believed in traditional, life-long marriage.

“People who believe marriage should last forever may also believe that fighting is just not worth it. They may be more likely to just let disagreements go,” Kamp Dush said.

Kate Hudson ‘in no rush to marry fiance Matt Bellamy’

‘Almost Famous’ actress Kate Hudson has revealed that she is not in a hurry to marry her fiance Matt Bellamy.

The 32-year-old blonde who has given birth to her second child Bingham with Bellamy just over four weeks ago, also has a son Ryder, 7, with former husband Chris Robinson.

“One thing at a time. We’ll say hello to our new one and enjoy that for a while,” the Daily Mail quoted her as telling Elle magazine.

Hurley`s wedding ruined former father-in-law`s marriage

 Vinod Nayar, Indian textile tycoon and former father-in-law of Elizabeth Hurley, says that the model-actress ruined his marriage.

The extravagant, ill-fated 2007 wedding between Hurley and Arun is one of the reasons Vinod, 71, broke up with his British-born wife Joan, 60, reported a website.

The tycoon said that Joan attempted to profit from her stepson`s high-profile romance and glittering wedding.

In a divorce petition, he accuses Joan of selling an interview about the pair, appearing on TV to discuss the relationship and signing as an ambassador for a luxury jewellery brand.

The tycoon said that his wife`s behaviour indicated her “money-minded nature”.

Nayar claims that his wife`s behaviour angered Hurley, who is now dating Australian cricketer Shane Warne.

Because of her `behaviour`, Hurley did not want Joan at the British part of the couple`s wedding or at the second traditional Indian part of the nuptials, held in Jodhpur.

He also said that the frostiness over the interviews about the wedding, “split the family relationship and things went sour”.

He also accused his estranged wife of deliberately trying to mortify him and his family by selling a story to a UK tabloid in 2010.

“She wanted to embarrass the petitioner`s family and her main aim was monetary gain from the story, for which she was paid 75,000 pounds,” he claimed.

No marriage on the cards for Genelia

Whatever be the reason, actor Genelia D’Souza communicates that she is not getting married to her rumoured beau Riteish Deshmukh right now.

The actor indicates that she’s going to start work on four films opposite four different heroesand the question of tying the knot next year does not arise.

The actor kept quiet for almost a week when rumour broke out that she is going get married in 2012 with actor and alleged boyfriend Riteish.

Websites have also been claiming that she will stop working in films after her marriage as her father-in-law, former chief minister Vilasrao Deshmukh doesn’t want his bahu working in films.

Some other websites claimed that Genelia might be opting to take themiddle path a la actor Bhagyashree, and work in films that only star Riteish opposite her.

However, Genelia says through her official spokesperson, that she has already signed four films, which mean that she is booked till 2012.

“All these talks of Genelia’s marriage are completely baseless and untrue. There is absolutely no factual evidence to any such rumours,” says her official spokesperson.

Genelia also communicates that she is not doing any sequel of Masti opposite Riteish, and is doing films with other heroes too.

“She’s starting four films with four different actors including Rana Daggubati and Abhay Deol between her Bollywood and South projects. So, she has a long film line-up to look forward to even after Force (her upcoming film with John Abraham),” adds her spokesperson.

Sources say Genelia is in no mood to discuss marriage with anybody right now because she is still getting flooded with good offers. Getting married would only put a brake to all her Bollywood aspirations.

“She hasn’t spoken about marriage to anybody. She’ll announce it herself when she is ready to get married. Given the kind of offers that is there with her right now, I don’t think getting married will be a good choice,” says a close friend of the actor.

One in five people stop locking lips after marriage

A survey has found that one in five married couples do not kiss for an entire week.

But if they do, it is usually a quick smooch lasting no more than five seconds, reports the Daily Express.

According to the survey, the younger sweethearts between 18 and 24, are more romantic, as they lock lips with a partner 11 times a week.

The findings have been released in a campaign by the British Heart Foundation to teach reviving skills like the kiss of life to school children as part of the national curriculum.

Kids ask about marriage more and more: Brad Pitt

Hollywood star Brad Pitt, who is raising six children with partner Angelina Jolie, reveals that his choices have changed after becoming a father. Now, before signing on any movie, he thinks about what his kids will see.

“I think that after becoming a father, I am changing in my choices. Today, everything I do, I look at in the context of what my kids are going to see and feel. I think about everything I do now – what my kids are gonna see, how they’re gonna feel. But I think they know me as a dad; I hope they would just think I’m a pretty damn good actor,” Pitt said in an e-mail interaction with IANS from Los Angeles.

Pitt and Jolie have been together since 2005. They are raising six kids — adopted children Maddox, 9, Pax, 7, and Zahara, 6, andbiological children Shiloh, 5, and two-year-old twins Knox and Vivienne.

The 47-year-old also hinted that there are chances of him marrying his actress girlfriend as they are being pressurised by their children to do so.

“The kids ask about marriage. It’s meaning more and more to them. So it’s something we’ve got to look at. If Angie and I feel it’s important for the kids, then we’ll get married,” said Pitt.

Known for hits like Mr and Mrs Smith, The Curious Case of Benjamin Buttonand Ocean’s Eleven, Pitt had shot for The Mighty Heart in Pune.

“While in Pune, I went for a motorbike ride all by myself. I was so fascinated by the chaos, the traffic, different rules we have been having that I wanted to get out on the road. So I bought a helmet and was able to ride around quite peacefully.”

He enjoyed being in India but when he comes to Bollywoood movies, Pitt says, “I don’t know a lot. I can’t sing and dance.”

The actor is upbeat about his new film, Tree of Life that released in India on Friday. Directed by Terrence Malick, the film earned rave reviews at the Cannes Film Festival. It received the prestigious 2011 Golden Palm (Palme d’Or) award at film festival.

“For me, the adults that we are are the direct result of the children we were. In this sense The Tree of Life follows the lives of three brothers who move between a loving mother, who represents the purest goodness, and a father, who is a human with his own faults,” he said.

The film also stars Sean Penn and Jessica Chastain.

Hugs, not sex, keep your marriage strong and happy!

Do you think that not having sex with your partner is a sign of a troubled relationship? Well, its not.

A new research has indicated that the frequency of cuddling is a far better indicator of the strength of a relationship than having sex.“Cuddling provides not just sensual pleasure, but also a feeling of comfort, security and companionship, all of which are just as important to a relationship as sex,” the Daily Mail quoted Paula Hall, relationship expert for online dating service Parship, as saying.

In fact, maintaining an intimate connection without the wild abandon of the hormonal early days can be vital for a happy relationship.

 “The advantage of non-sexual intimacy is that couples often use this time together to talk about their emotional lives,” said Hall.

“Whereas when sex is their only way of getting close, couples who find emotional openness difficult often rely on making love to help them connect. They can find themselves missing out on other levels of intimacy,” added Hall.

If sex is the focus, it can mean that emotional problems are never discussed – - whereas non-sexual touching, such as cuddling and stroking, encourages more relaxed bonding and intimate conversation, due in large part to the crucial ‘cuddle hormone’ oxytocin.

 “Oxytocin is produced by touch and, as well as making us feel good, it also inspires us to touch more,” said Hall.

“That means that the more you touch, the closer you feel and the more you want to touch,” she added.

Being married is `so fly`: Alicia Keys

R&B star Alicia Keys, who tied the knot with producer Swizz Beatz last year, says she finds marriage fulfilling.

“It`s so fly. There`s something great about feeling at peace and ease with your partner and knowing you understand each other. I really enjoy that friendship,” she said.

Keys, 31, who will celebrate her one-year anniversary on July 31, insists she enjoys a harmonious relationship because they both are “like-minded”, reported People online.

“There are so many similarities between us, it`s just mind-blowing. It`s really cool to have met my equal,” she added.

Keys, who is also celebrating a professional anniversary with the re-release her 2001 debut album, `Songs in a Minor`, said that her wedding day tops the list of her favourite moments over a very eventful decade.

“When I walked down [the aisle] and saw him, I could barely hold myself together. It was so beautiful ? just about he and I and our love. The wedding was one of the best days of my life,” Keys said.

The couple has a son named Egypt, who was born last fall.

Katy Perry says all is fine with husband Russell Brand

`Singer Katy Perry has brushed off reports that her marriage to Russell Brand is in trouble, insisting they are keeping a low profile to maintain their privacy.

“Just cause we don`t flaunt our relationship doesn`t mean there`s something wrong. Privacy is our luxury. Tabloids are trash. Gossip is gross,” she posted on her Twitter account.

The couple married last year in India and since then they have been dogged by rumours of rift, reports contactmusic.com.

Brand backed his wife`s comments: “You tell `em Mrs Brand! In Britain we`re currently dismantling the scum media, so I`m not tuned in to their brain farting.”

Marriage is not Ritesh Desmukh’s priority now

He maintains a studied silence when probed on how it is going with actress Genelia D’Souza, but actor Riteish Desmukh stresses that he is not planning to get married to her next year.

“I am not getting married anytime soon. Those (the buzz that he is getting married next year) were just rumours and they should be treated like rumours. Till March next year I am shooting, so there cannot be any other plans,” says Riteish who has just returned from London after grueling a shooting schedule with actors Rishi Kapoor, John Abraham, Akshay Kumar and Asin.

The rumours of Riteish going steady with Genelia have been around for more than two years now and the two have not denied anything publicly. Often the couple has been spotted hanging out with each other at events and parties. “It’s something that I don’t want to discuss about. Right now there are a lot of things on my mind other than marriage,” he says.

Very few know that Genelia was Ritesh’s first leading lady in the 2003 filmTujhe Meri Kasam, which tanked at the box office and the two never paired up since. Even though he is cagey about marriage, what about the fact that his family is also apparently keen that he get married soon? “I don’t think there’s any pressure on me to get married. My family knows that I would do things in my own time, so they won’t put any pressure on me for anything like that. At this point of time that (marriage) is not on my priority list,” he adds.

Sensing his extreme discomfort at the mention of Genelia’s name, we ask him about his long-term plans. The son of the former chief minister of Maharastra Vilasrao Desmukh admits that it’s time he did something for Marathi cinema. “I am planning to act in a Marathi movie. It’s been on the cards for a long time now,” he concludes.

Why can’t people just leave my marriage alone, asks Chitrangda Singh

 

Average couple ‘argues 2,455 times a year’

A new survey has discovered that the average couple bickers 2,455 times a year – equal to almost seven times a day.

Researchers found that the biggest single reason for a tiff is not listening to what the other half is saying, which is responsible for around 112 cross exchanges a year, followed by money worries, spending issues and laziness around the house, reports the Sun.

Annoyance about over-spending, especially on impulsive or unnecessary purchases, leads to 109 disputes – with money in general being the cause of a further 108.

Laziness caused 105 outbursts while snoring provoked 102.

What to eat for dinner leads to 92 barneys a year – and 80 tiffs are about a partner walking mud into the house.

Driving too fast, walking past items that need taking upstairs and what to watch on television are the cause of conflict more than once a week.

Sex – particularly a lack of it or the timing – also causes 88 bust-ups a year.

The survey also showed the average couple will argue about disciplining the children 88 times, and have a further 79 disputes about spoiling them.

The figures were revealed in a study of 3,000 people, either married or in relationships, by esure home insurance.

“Bickering on a daily basis is all part of being in a normal, healthy relationship. The normal co-habiting couple will have to put up with each other”s daily annoyances – even if they can prove to be very irritating,” said a spokeswoman.

 

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