Hugs, not sex, keep your marriage strong and happy!

Do you think that not having sex with your partner is a sign of a troubled relationship? Well, its not.

A new research has indicated that the frequency of cuddling is a far better indicator of the strength of a relationship than having sex.“Cuddling provides not just sensual pleasure, but also a feeling of comfort, security and companionship, all of which are just as important to a relationship as sex,” the Daily Mail quoted Paula Hall, relationship expert for online dating service Parship, as saying.

In fact, maintaining an intimate connection without the wild abandon of the hormonal early days can be vital for a happy relationship.

 “The advantage of non-sexual intimacy is that couples often use this time together to talk about their emotional lives,” said Hall.

“Whereas when sex is their only way of getting close, couples who find emotional openness difficult often rely on making love to help them connect. They can find themselves missing out on other levels of intimacy,” added Hall.

If sex is the focus, it can mean that emotional problems are never discussed – - whereas non-sexual touching, such as cuddling and stroking, encourages more relaxed bonding and intimate conversation, due in large part to the crucial ‘cuddle hormone’ oxytocin.

 “Oxytocin is produced by touch and, as well as making us feel good, it also inspires us to touch more,” said Hall.

“That means that the more you touch, the closer you feel and the more you want to touch,” she added.

Being married is `so fly`: Alicia Keys

R&B star Alicia Keys, who tied the knot with producer Swizz Beatz last year, says she finds marriage fulfilling.

“It`s so fly. There`s something great about feeling at peace and ease with your partner and knowing you understand each other. I really enjoy that friendship,” she said.

Keys, 31, who will celebrate her one-year anniversary on July 31, insists she enjoys a harmonious relationship because they both are “like-minded”, reported People online.

“There are so many similarities between us, it`s just mind-blowing. It`s really cool to have met my equal,” she added.

Keys, who is also celebrating a professional anniversary with the re-release her 2001 debut album, `Songs in a Minor`, said that her wedding day tops the list of her favourite moments over a very eventful decade.

“When I walked down [the aisle] and saw him, I could barely hold myself together. It was so beautiful ? just about he and I and our love. The wedding was one of the best days of my life,” Keys said.

The couple has a son named Egypt, who was born last fall.

Katy Perry says all is fine with husband Russell Brand

`Singer Katy Perry has brushed off reports that her marriage to Russell Brand is in trouble, insisting they are keeping a low profile to maintain their privacy.

“Just cause we don`t flaunt our relationship doesn`t mean there`s something wrong. Privacy is our luxury. Tabloids are trash. Gossip is gross,” she posted on her Twitter account.

The couple married last year in India and since then they have been dogged by rumours of rift, reports contactmusic.com.

Brand backed his wife`s comments: “You tell `em Mrs Brand! In Britain we`re currently dismantling the scum media, so I`m not tuned in to their brain farting.”

Marriage is not Ritesh Desmukh’s priority now

He maintains a studied silence when probed on how it is going with actress Genelia D’Souza, but actor Riteish Desmukh stresses that he is not planning to get married to her next year.

“I am not getting married anytime soon. Those (the buzz that he is getting married next year) were just rumours and they should be treated like rumours. Till March next year I am shooting, so there cannot be any other plans,” says Riteish who has just returned from London after grueling a shooting schedule with actors Rishi Kapoor, John Abraham, Akshay Kumar and Asin.

The rumours of Riteish going steady with Genelia have been around for more than two years now and the two have not denied anything publicly. Often the couple has been spotted hanging out with each other at events and parties. “It’s something that I don’t want to discuss about. Right now there are a lot of things on my mind other than marriage,” he says.

Very few know that Genelia was Ritesh’s first leading lady in the 2003 filmTujhe Meri Kasam, which tanked at the box office and the two never paired up since. Even though he is cagey about marriage, what about the fact that his family is also apparently keen that he get married soon? “I don’t think there’s any pressure on me to get married. My family knows that I would do things in my own time, so they won’t put any pressure on me for anything like that. At this point of time that (marriage) is not on my priority list,” he adds.

Sensing his extreme discomfort at the mention of Genelia’s name, we ask him about his long-term plans. The son of the former chief minister of Maharastra Vilasrao Desmukh admits that it’s time he did something for Marathi cinema. “I am planning to act in a Marathi movie. It’s been on the cards for a long time now,” he concludes.

Why can’t people just leave my marriage alone, asks Chitrangda Singh

 

Average couple ‘argues 2,455 times a year’

A new survey has discovered that the average couple bickers 2,455 times a year – equal to almost seven times a day.

Researchers found that the biggest single reason for a tiff is not listening to what the other half is saying, which is responsible for around 112 cross exchanges a year, followed by money worries, spending issues and laziness around the house, reports the Sun.

Annoyance about over-spending, especially on impulsive or unnecessary purchases, leads to 109 disputes – with money in general being the cause of a further 108.

Laziness caused 105 outbursts while snoring provoked 102.

What to eat for dinner leads to 92 barneys a year – and 80 tiffs are about a partner walking mud into the house.

Driving too fast, walking past items that need taking upstairs and what to watch on television are the cause of conflict more than once a week.

Sex – particularly a lack of it or the timing – also causes 88 bust-ups a year.

The survey also showed the average couple will argue about disciplining the children 88 times, and have a further 79 disputes about spoiling them.

The figures were revealed in a study of 3,000 people, either married or in relationships, by esure home insurance.

“Bickering on a daily basis is all part of being in a normal, healthy relationship. The normal co-habiting couple will have to put up with each other”s daily annoyances – even if they can prove to be very irritating,” said a spokeswoman.

 

In marriage, it’s mum’s choice that counts: survey

Even in modern times mothers feel that their choice plays a key role while selecting a life-partner for their children, according to a survey by a marriage portal.

Shaadi.com, an online matrimonial service, conducted a poll ahead of Mothers’ Day to reflect the opinion the mothers while selecting the match for their children.

The survey revealed that 67 per cent mothers felt that their opinion is very important while selecting a spouse for their children, followed by 30 per cent mothers who believe their opinion is fairly important and 3 per cent who feel their opinion doesn’t matter.

The survey was conducted among 25,000 mothers; 55 per cent participants were mothers of female members of Shaadi.com while the rest 45 per cent were mothers of male members.

With the change in time, mothers have realised that the requisite for marriage is to encourage their children to be well acquainted with the future partner, it said.

This is unlike the earlier times where a couple of meetings by the parents were sufficient to get their children married.

The survey reflected that mothers are more open to the idea of their children getting to know their partner before marriage.

Out of the total survey takers, 84 per cent mothers feel it is extremely important to let their children know their partner well before marriage, 14 per cent feel it is somewhat important and only 2 per cent feel it is not important at all.

Given the load of running a household and the prominence of joint family in India, 66 per cent mothers would not want their child to get married in a family which has a single child as compared to 34 per cent who wouldn’t mind it.

I like being married: Lara Dutta Bhupathi

Marriage seems to suit actress Lara Dutta Bhupathi pretty well and has proven to be lucky. The actor, who turned producer recently, had a good run with the critics with her first film that released last weekend.

While she cannot contain her excitement on turning producer, the first thought that comes to her mind is husband, tennis star Mahesh Bhupathi. “It was difficult donning the producer’s hat, but immensely gratifying when you see the final product. Mahesh has always understood that my job entails me to stay on the sets for a long time and is supportive of me,” gushes wifey Dutta.

The actress, who turned a year older on April 16, was working throughout the day on her birthday, promoting her film. Amidst this, she managed to squeeze in time for a quick dinner with her extended family.

“This year, my family has grown and become bigger,” she beams. Ask her if hubby dearest had a surprise gift in store and she says, “After marriage, Mahesh has been on a gifting spree. He is always showering me with gifts so this time I decided to not pressurise him for a birthday gift,” she guffaws.

Is it difficult to manage two worlds together? “We both know how important our careers are… If he is playing a tournament, I try to travel with him to catch a match or he surprises me by landing up on my long, outdoor schedules.”

Most heroines often delay getting married, but Dutta is unperturbed. “Getting married to Mahesh has been the best decision of my life. I like being married and would not have it any other way. Not much has changed in life since I have been living alone and running a house, but marriage makes you a lot more secure. It is good to be back home to someone you love. Besides it’s time we realised that being a married actor is not a curse, it’s a blessing in disguise!”

 

This Valentine’s Day, a marriage broken by V-Day rose gets second chance

It was a Valentine’s Day rose that pushed them to the brink of divorce but this V-Day, they will give their marriage a second shot. The Pune couple, who did not wish to be named as their case is sub-judice, had married in 2008 after a courtship of about a year.

She remembers his first Valentine’s Day gift after marriage, a huge present. She cannot forget the second Valentine’s Day either. She alleges he had given a rose to one of his female friends. Thereafter began differences, arguments, fights and misunderstandings. They started living separately and their case landed at the Pune District Family Court. As per court procedure, their matter was referred to a counsellor in the family court.

“After initiating a dialogue between the two, I counselled them for five months. Now the couple has decided to start living together from Valentine’s Day this year,” said counsellor Smita Joshi.

The court will allow them to stay together for three months and if the follow-up reports are positive, the court will order them to reunite and close the case.

This is only a rare case among the 3,500 divorce petitions filed every year in the district family court, say court counsellors and divorce lawyers.

Now, V-Day, though mostly celebrated by couples aged between 25 and 35, is offering an excellent opportunity for counsellors to put sense in fighting couples. “We make them revisit the V-Days they celebrated earlier and consider the spouse’s positive sides before taking any hasty decision,” Joshi says. So this Valentine’s Day, the court has a huge load, considering it’s post weekend.

Jordan planning movie about her life

Katie Price a.k.a Jordan is reportedly planning a blockbuster movie about her turbulent life. 

The film will cover her rise to fame, flings with famous men, marriage to Peter Andre, 37, and her doomed marriage to Alex Reid. 

After months of heartache, it has been revealed the glamour girl will soon be coming to a big screen near you, reports the Daily Star. 

Further details of the movie will apparently be revealed when she will hold “advanced talks” about the biographical movie at the Oscars in Hollywood later this month. 

“I’ve got four autobiographies, well, they’re four diaries,” she revealed. 

“I’ve found a producer and he’s already got three of them – I’m giving him the other one and that’s what they’re doing.”Interestingly, Jordon has someone in mind to play her, but she’s not giving out any information other than “it’s going to be a mad film”.

We had loads to sort out before marriage: Neelam

Samir Soni married his girlfriend Neelam Kothari on Sunday evening. Agreed, it took long but the actor insists they both had personal issues to deal with. 

How did it all start? 
It’s a long story. We started dating three years ago and were introduced by Ekta (Kapoor) who is a common friend. After that, we met a couple of times and things started progressing. But I always knew that this would lead to marriage. So did she. 

So, you had planned to marry before you went to the Bigg Boss house? 
Yes. We were to get married around November last year when Bigg Boss happened. No one knew when I would come out of the house. The day I did, we met a pandit to start the marriage preparations. 

You never mentioned Neelam inside the Bigg Boss house barring a couple of occasions… 
Neelam is a very private person and so am I. We didn’t want people to say that I was using her name for publicity. I always spoke about her but without taking her name. 

In this long period, what triggered the marriage idea? 
We had it at the back of our minds but we both had our own personal issues to deal with. We wanted to be comfortable with each other before marrying. 

You seem to have had a low-key wedding. 
Not really. I would say that it was a very informal wedding. We did not print any cards, yet there were around 200 people at the wedding. We just called up all the people who mattered to us. I am happy that from Ekta to Jeetu uncle, to Karan to Karisma and Raveena, everyone turned up 

Where are you planning to go for your honeymoon? 
We are going to Shirdi to seek blessings. I can’t afford to take any time off as I was away for three months. But we will take a vacation soon, as a lot of our family members are in the US. 

Neelam says… 
Despite no formal invitation, the turnout at the Samir-Neelam wedding was a hundred per cent. Neelam says, “The whole process of getting cards printed is so cumbersome. 

We were spared that.” Feeling married to Samir is no different for Neelam than what they shared before. Neelam says, “We waited a long time to get married. He came with his baggage. 

I had mine. While we sorted our issues we got a chance to know one another better. So I guess the most radical change after marriage is that I shift from my own home in Khar to Samir’s place in Seven Bungalows.” 

This is a second marriage for both Samir and Neelam. Previously, Samir was hitched to Rajlaxmi Khanvilkar, who is now married actor Rahul Roy. Neelam was married to London-based industrialist Rishi Sethia.

Why Has Divorce Become ‘Normal’?

In an ideal world, we would all be educated, successful, healthy and for those of us who choose it – happily married. What’s more? We would all get it right the first time around.  But sadly, in reality we live and learn as we go along. Earlier, women weren’t given the luxury of choice when it came to marriage and were expected to stay with the man through hell or high water. Over the years though, parents as well as we, ourselves have become more practical and pragmatic in our approach to the institution. It is well preferred that once you tie the knot, you are one forever; but allowances are now made in case you’ve been too quick to judge compatibility and such. Hence, divorce rates have shown a significant increase in the last five years.

Why?
“I am going through a divorce right now, and it’s only with my friends’ support that I found the strength to go through it. My family is completely against my decision even though my husband was unfaithful throughout our marriage. I have made my peace with my decision because I know I did try to make it work,” explains Avantika Joshi*, 25. 
  
Besides infidelity, another big reason for the rise in numbers is because women are more career-centric now, and this gives them the financial independence to get out of a ‘bad’ marriage.  “I simply got married for the wrong reasons. I was young and I thought that if I loved the man, it would all work out. Now I’m divorced and starting over at 26,” sighs Sharmila Gupta*.

Reasons also include emotional or physical abuse and addictions like alcoholism and gambling. “In a bad marriage, especially an abusive one, the woman can now walk out without being judged by society or considered a failure just because her marriage failed,” comments Chrisann Almeida- Creado, socio-psychologist. All marriages don’t have to be messy. It can also be two adults mutually consenting that they are not compatible with each other. “I also feel that a couple must try harder if they have a child because at the end of the day, a child needs both parents. That being said, constant fighting and bickering is also damaging to a child’s emotional development,” adds Chrisann.

If you want to avoid it
In this mechanised generation, we want everything instantaneously. Hence, we are completely ill equipped at tolerating frustration because we are unable to handle delayed gratification. This means that small misunderstandings get blown up into huge fights, as we lack simple patience. Just the way you break a mobile and get a new one, you can now fight with a spouse and get a new one. Snap! Always try harder and remind yourselves that everything can’t happen in an instant, especially with regard to relationships.

Keep these in mind before you say ‘I do’

• Even though it is believed that opposites attract, it is like mindedness that sustains a long-term relationship. Both men and women should look for partners with the same values and ideologies or at least make sure that the differences are not to drastic.
• Don’t marry just out of love because there is a lot more to a relationship than love.
• Look out for temperamental compatibility, which is the basic nature of your partner that should complement yours. If you put a practical and logical person together with a very emotionally dependent person, there is bound to be trouble later.
• Sexual compatibility is very important for a happy marriage.
  Keep an eye out for long silences, passive aggressiveness and failure to communicate. These are signs of a relationship that will turn sour eventually.
• Any kind of abuse shouldn’t be tolerated.
• If your partner is too controlling or too clingy and doesn’t give you space, problems will arise later.
• Lastly, you have to be happy, be independent financially, physically and emotionally. Your happiness doesn’t lie solely in your partner’s hands.

Inputs by Chrisann Almeida- Creado, socio-psychologist, Shamsah Sonawalla, Associate Director Psychiatry Research and Varkha Chulani, clinical psychologist and psychotherapist.

Jordan announces split with Reid

After weeks of speculation, Katie Price a.k.a. Jordan has finally announced she has separated from husband Alex Reid after a stormy 11-month marriage. 

In a statement, the 32-year-old glamour model admitted that she married the cage fighter ‘too quickly’. 

“We all make mistakes. Alex and I have had a number of difficulties over the past few months,” the Telegraph quoted her as saying. 

“I accept that these were in part caused by my marrying too quickly – we all make mistakes and this was one,” she added. 

Jordan also blamed Reid, 35, for changing and becoming obsessed with fame. “Alex changed from the man I fell in love with and some of his behaviour became difficult for me to understand and caused issues,” she said. 

Jordan said his desire to promote himself ‘contributed to our alienation’.The reality TV star also said the couple had failed to resolve their differences because ‘the issues between us are too deep rooted’. 

The statement went on to say that Reid has asked Jordan to delay announcing their split because he wanted more time to think, but subsequently posed for newspaper photographs with her son Junior in a gym. 

She denied reports she had discussed financial matters with her divorce lawyers, and said claims the announcement had been delayed so her film crew could capture Reid”s reaction on camera were a ‘complete fabrication’. 

“I am deeply upset that my relationship with Alex has failed but I know it is the right thing for my children and I that we separate. My children are my absolute priority in this and they are being shielded from what is happening,” she said.

Wanted: A loan-free spouse

Prospective brides and grooms are no longer interested in good looks, high education and a fat salary packet while hunting for a life partner. All they want their future husband or wife to be is free from any financial liabilities.The parents of 25-year-old Uttara Gandhi, who works with a reputed MNC, were confident their daughter will get a desired match easily one day, till groom-hunting actually began. “They never expected the prospective groom or his family would want to know if I’d some loans to clear. The fact that I’m still paying my education loan, taken to complete my management degree from USA, irked most of them. I firmly decided I’ll not marry a guy who will refuse to marry me because I’ve a loan on my head. Believe me, it took us two years to find the right person. It seems as if there is a trend these days that one needs to be loan-free to get the desired partner,” says Gandhi.

Not only Gandhi but many young girls and boys along with their parents are facing such a situation. Good looks, education, character or a high profile in a reputed company are no longer the top traits people are looking for in their partners. In the present times, being loan-free is utmost importance to get the ‘right’ life partner. And it is not just youngsters who prefer to “be clear in the beginning of the relationship” if there will be any liabilities they will be sharing. Even parents prefer enquiring with the banks about the financial security of the groom in most cases.

Subhash Verma from Central Bank of India says, “As a policy, we don’t reveal financial details of any account holder in our bank. But, in the past, we have had requests where the girl’s or the boy’s parents have arrived to enquire if the person they are going to marry their daughter or son with has a pending loan to pay or not. Though sometimes to convince us they mention that even if there is a pending loan, it won’t affect their decision but they want to be sure about the financial status of the girl or the boy. Sometimes, even the prospective groom or bride are interested in knowing if their would-be partner is paying off some loan without their knowledge.”

A ‘practical’ trend

Sociologist Mala Kapur Shankardass agrees the trend has been witnessing an upward trend over the last few years and says that the changing socio-economic situation is one of the reasons. “Today youngsters don’t want any problems in future and most of them try to keep off from responsibilities as much as they can. They know how it is difficult to maintain high standards these days as everything is so expensive. Therefore, they are on a hunt-out for a working partner. I think it is practical to discuss each other’s financial status before marriage and decide to call off the relationship if they find the liability is too much to afford,” says Shankardass. She cites two cases where the marriage was called off because guys were paying off their education loans and were dependent on their parents. “I think it was a sensible move as it doesn’t get sour later,” she says.

HR professional Shipra Tyagi says it is a matter of honesty to discuss loan issues before marriage and then decide to go ahead. “I’ve a friend who broke off her four-year long relationship because the guy she was dating kept delaying marriage as he wanted to pay off his home loan first. I think it was justified. In today’s a modern age when even partners are going in for legal bonds and health checkups before tying the nuptial knot, they have the right to clear financial status as well,” says the 23-year-old.A few bad examples

“The increasing cases of broken marriages force us to confirm the loan status and liabilities before marriage as it has always existed in our tradition. In case of arranged marriages, parents used to run from pillar-to-post to check the bank balance of the prospective groom, find out if the house the guy lived in was rented or owned or if the guy had unmarried sisters,” says Ashutosh Parikh, a parent of two.

The father of 24-year-old Nandita, Satish Sharma feels there is no harm if a parent wants to cross-check the loan status of the would-be groom or bride. “Honesty and clarity are two essential elements of a relationship. With so many incidents that parents get to hear, especially in cases of NRI grooms, it is understandable why parents or the girl would want to be sure about the financial status of the guy. It is justified even if a boy wants to know if the girl has taken a loan or not. As after marriage, situations can change and a girl might not work. In such a case, the responsibility to pay off that loan would automatically come on shoulder of the boy.”

Better deal

Shankardass says she finds it a bit too much when parents arrive at the doorsteps of a bank to enquire about the loan status as it should be left on the would-be-groom and the bride-to-be take the final call. “The cost of living has gone up considerably over the years and one needs to take a loan to survive in this cut-throat competitive world. Therefore, it is always better to clarify with the prospective partner as to why one needed to take a loan, how much duration of the same has left and if any other important security the bank has held against that loan. Both the partners should openly discuss these issues before arriving at a conclusion,” she suggests.

Parikh adds rather than undergoing unwanted enquiries, families should sit and discuss financial issues. “Sometimes boys and girls are smart enough to do an investment arrangement to pay back the loan and need not discuss it even with their parents. Therefore, it is always advisable to talk openly and not turn away from what could be the ‘right’ person for your son or daughter,” sums up Parikh.

Does Sex Turn You Off?

Image courtesy: © Thinkstock Photos/ Getty Images

Dealing with a Meddling Mother-in-law

You may be staying with your in-laws, or not. But mom’s-in-law are never easy to please. Especially if she has an opinion on everything you do. Here’s how you can keep peace with a mother-in-law who is meddlesome.

Ignore small differences
Ignoring petty differences can help strengthen the bond, says actress Lataa Sabharwal who married actor Sanjeev Seth. “I feel fortunate to have an understanding and educated mother-in law. She supports me completely and knows the dynamics, as she herself was a teacher. It’s not that everything between us is smooth as we too have differences of opinions, but we always try to reach a solution. We do not seem to reach a consensus over my apparels, but then she never forces me to wear something of her choice rather just advises me. My husband Sanjeev has never been biased and stands for the one who is right.”
   
Lataa’s mother-in-law, Aruna Seth, feels that a girl needs time to get acclimatised to the new atmosphere and periphery. “Because they come from a different set-up, they resist to change initially,” she says. According to her, the first three years of a marriage are important to lay a foundation and cement the relationship. This can be also termed as the adjustment period.
   
Relationship therapist Rachna Kothari explains this relationship, “A daughter-inlaw usually thinks of a mother-in-law as one who is ruling the house with an iron hand and disturbing the peace. And a mother-in-law thinks of a daughter-in-law as one who is always wrong in everything she does, waiting to grab every single opportunity to preach and correct her. Any friction or problem between the mother-in-law and daughter-inlaw usually stems from expectations, either realistic or unrealistic.” She adds, “A mother-in-law’s constant nagging can leave a daughter-in-law frustrated and she might then resort to revolt. If her husband does not support her, it can create a rift between the couple. This can lead to a general relationship dysfunction, affecting emotional stability, which can percolate into other spheres of marriage like intimacy, children finance, etc. Two different identities of two different ideologies fight each other to gain control over one man. They crush this man in their scuffles.”

Make your bond stronger
Change your attitude. Don’t think about your mother-in-law as the ‘vamp’ in your life. Don’t make small things a big issue. Sometimes small things can lead to big problems. Focus on the positive qualities of each other. Be polite and respect each other. Avoid playing the blame game and saying nasty things about each other. Don’t criticise each other in front of family, spouse and relatives. Give gifts. Give your mother-inlaw a gift for no other reason than to let her know she counts in your life. A gift shows you care. Clarify misunderstandings. Be assertive. Be clear about what you are fine with and what you are not. Do it politely, firmly and repeatedly. Give each other space. Be on the same side. You both love and care about the same man. Don’t compete with each other for him. Remember that both of you are equally important for him.

Would You Stay Angry with Your Partner?

If you thought marriage is about compromising and giving in, think again! A study conducted at the University of Tennessee shows that forgiving your spouse too easily for his mistakes will more likely lead to additional bad behaviour as opposed to staying angry with him for longer.

Lily Allen sparks marriage rumours

Pop star Lily Allen has sparked rumours that she has secretly tied the knot after she posted a picture of her latest ”manicure” on her blog. 

The photo shows the singer’s wedding finger with two rings on it, reports the Sun . 

Allen, who has just returned to the UK after a holiday in New York, uploaded the pic with the caption, “A girl can’t do Manhattan sans manicure.” 

The ”LDN” singer was in high spirits over the festive season after her beau Sam Cooper proposed to her on Christmas Day in Bali. 

She apparently burst into tears when the decorator popped the question, weeks after she had lost their baby.

Compulsory HIV Test Before Marriage, Anyone?

Getting married? Well, then you better be ready to take a HIV test (at least, if you live in Kerala). The Kerala Women’s Commission (KWC) has asked the state government to pass resolutions and, if necessary, a law to ensure that all those who get married undergo a HIV test.

What’s in Your Trousseau?

When you tie the knot, your in-laws will want to show off their new daughter-in-law to relatives and friends while your husband will want to display his prized possession to jealous friends So you need to be the belle of the ball! You can’t just blend in with everyone else!

That’s when your trousseau will work its magic. But what exactly do you makes up your trousseau? Do you need designer brands or will some run-of-the-mill stuff suffice?

For the confused bride, here are a few essential tips to keep in mind before going shopping for your trousseau:

Tradition over trends
Please don’t blindly follow thelatest trends; stick to classics which will last you for a long time. Shopping budgets are very important. So get that decided before going shopping anywhere!

Consider trousseau shopping as a one time investment in your future wardrobe and choose accordingly. Most brides go overboard choosing glaring yellows, reds and blaring colours which can only be worn at formal dos.

So, be smart and invest in timeless pieces that can be worn again and again.

Luscious lingerie
Good lingerie is essential – not just for the Sedusa within, but remember you don’t want in-laws to see grungy underwear being hung out to dry!

Get at least ten good pairs of bras and panties which are built to last. Pick branded pairs which should do fine for a while.

More essentials
At least ten salwar kameez or churidaar sets, trousers, pantsuits, and acceptable lightweight saris are essential for every new bride as there are quite a few social functions you will be invited to. While you’re at it, get a wide choice of sari blouses – cowl neck patterns, noodle straps and even strapless ones which are affordable and will make you stand out at functions.

Don’t forget night wear, workout gear like tracksuits and daily wear like jeans, capris and tops.

With these things in your cupboard, nothing can go wrong with your married but stylish look. The in-laws will be delighted to present their daughter-in-law and you’ll be the cynosure of all eyes.

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